Under Pressure: How to Win Against Stress
“What’s life without pressure?”
Stress is a part of life and is a necessary part of any worthwhile endeavor. A recent scientific discovery found that “the same nerves involved in the fight-or-flight response can cause permanent damage to cells responsible for producing hair color in mice.” So stress really can contribute to our hair going gray faster! And it can have a host of other negative effects on us affecting our health, mood, and ability to perform at our best. We need to be able to transform stress, our reactions to it, and its effect on our lives to make sure it’s adaptive and not destructive. Here’s how:
Make it worth the stress
Stress is necessary for growth and as the title quote above implies it’s unavoidable. Rapper Lil Wayne knew it was either going to be the stress of trying to pay the rent or something more ambitious like making hit records. As much as possible spend your time in line with your purpose, values and vision and know that the stress you are experiencing is helping you achieve your goals. When we view stress as a result of choices we are making we will feel less stressed out.
Keep the nervous system calm
Chronic stress leaves us feeling like we are always on edge. So how do we counteract these powerful feelings? We need to practice preventative techniques so that we can maintain a calm foundation and better handle stressful situations when they happen. When we are tired or ”on” for too long we are more susceptible to losing the stress battle. Here’s what you can do:
Get adequate sleep. Take naps (you’re not being lazy).
Take breaks and give yourself relaxing downtime.
Get a massage, meditate, take a bath or anything that calms you.
Change your physiology by smiling.
Let’s say you put those practices to work but you need some extra support. There are other ways you can inoculate against stress such as these outlined below.
Retrain the negativity bias
Thanks to evolution we are more likely to focus on the negative than the positive. Neuroscientists have dubbed this the “negative bias”. While this might have helped cavemen stay alive it adds to our day-to-day stress and overwhelm.
Go on a negativity/news fast.
Consciously focus and hold attention on positive things. Try the 3 good things activity.
Know your stress trigger(s)
Different things stress different people out. One minute you’re fine and the next minute you’re flipping your lid. This is known as the amygdala hijack. You’ve literally lost control of yourself to the most primitive part of your brain. Once you know your triggers you can be more aware and proactive.
List the things that set you off. For each one list how it might feel like it’s threatening your survival. Is it really?
Change your mindset and mental conditioning
Our perception that something is stressful kicks in our stress response. By changing our perception the same situation can feel less stressful and prevent our stress response (read this study if you want to know more). Here’s how we can use language to create perception shifts.
Remember, it’s (usually) a choice - Most of the things that stress us out are the result of a choice we have made. Remember the choice and why you made it.
Positive self-talk - Studies show that self-talk increases motivation and willingness to endure uncomfortable situations. Self-talk is most effective when it’s short, specific, and consistent.
Reframing - Filter out unnecessary negative information, find the silver lining and good in situations and focus on those.
Get Social
Studies have shown that a strong social support network can help build resilience to stress. Having positive, caring people around us can make the hard times seem not so hard. Don’t like people? Try hanging out with animals for some less complicated love.
Get Buddhist
The understanding that nothing is permanent helps us to not react so strongly to things. So take a deep breath and repeat after me, “this too shall pass”.
Quick start
“Ok, all these strategies are great”, you’re thinking, “but I really don’t have the time to implement them. That’s why I’m so stressed in the first place!” Here are some quick hits you can employ no matter how busy and stressed you are:
Micro-breaks - If you can’t get away for a week or even a day focus on taking micro-breaks. On the walk between meetings, close your eyes and feel the sun on your face. Focus on and intensify the small moments of relaxation and enjoyment you can get. These micro-breaks add up.
Try Chade-Meng Tan’s “Joy on Demand” technique - Take three full breaths in and out. On the first breath focus on your breath, on the second breath calm your body, on the third breath invite joy into your life. Fifteen seconds total time.
So take Lil Wayne’s advice, be ambitious in your goals, and use the techniques above to better handle the pressures in your life.